I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
