But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He did a backflip because drugs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
