i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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