there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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