You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
