you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
