Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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