its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She bit a glass in half.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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