I have demons in me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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