I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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