This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
