When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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