i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
God, I missed his penis.
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