are you still at the devil's house?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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