i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
