At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
