I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
