i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
