I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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