tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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