in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
