Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm at about main and main street
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
