New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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