just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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