I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Help. Why am I so naked?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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