My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
