My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
