what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
