i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
