Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
