i don't like sucking hair
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
