Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
