that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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