Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need to wash the frat house off of me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
