You're so nebulous sometimes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
