Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
