to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
