no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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