Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Come see our sink grown plant.
it glows. i had to have it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
