Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
