TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
