When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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