Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
