Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
