Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
