New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
