I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
