i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
