i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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