His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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